When All That’s Left Are Beautiful Memories

lanuiop on Flickr

When you begin to question why you let go, latch on to the real reason you were hurting in the first place.

Well, how can you when, for some unfair reason, your heart has suddenly been purged of all the bad to hold on to? Isn’t it a wonder, how we find it so easy to see all of a person’s scratches, dents and cracks while they still lay in your arms, but can no longer find it in ourselves to remember anything but their beauty once they’ve gone?

How can you remember how much you disliked holding his sweaty hands when all you’re left grasping at every morning when you wake up are the cold sheets on the side of the bed where he used to feel safe enough to dream?

How can you bring yourself to latch on to the sound of contempt in his voice, when all your mind managed to remember so vividly is his absent-minded, wrong-lyric’d singing while he fixes his hair the way he knows you like it in the bathroom mirror?

How do you convince yourself you had enough of the bickering, when you lived for pointless would you rathers and what would you do ifs as he sipped his morning coffee and stretched the weight of sleep off his spine?

How do you wrap your mind around selfishness and neglect, when he’d take so much care to add just the right amount of cream and sugar in your coffee because he knows and accepts all of you?

We don’t remember the fights, nor the grand gestures of love. Bouquets and moonlit dinners are beautiful, but they will never be as precious as the lost look on his face when he’d crane his neck trying to find little you in a crowd. Harsh words and accusations hurt, but they will never be as painful as running your hand down his tired back that night he came to you for refuge from his life.

Treasure the weary soul that has found a home in you. Hold them tightly, memorize the light and shadow in their eyes and the delicate curve of their lips. Know where the lines form on the corners of theirs eyes when you make them laugh, and where the pained furrow goes on their brow when they are burdened.

Wrap them in love and acceptance, and nothing else. If there is anything to be learned from loss, it is the immeasurable value of life’s often-neglected details.

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